Quotes of the Day >> 12.16.05
“We believe that the purported ‘world exclusive’ interview by Patricia Nolan was fabricated and the story was false. Therefore, we withdraw and retract the statements in that article. In particular, Ms. Hatcher has never engaged in sexual relations with men in a van parked on her property, nor does she leave her child alone in her house while having ’steamy romps’ with men in a ‘passion wagon’. Ms Hatcher only uses her van for camping trips with her daughter.”
–The National Enquirer apologizes to Teri Hatcher
“Everyone keeps asking me that stupid question: ‘What are you doing?’ I say: ‘Why do I need to do anything? I’m rich.’ Do you want me to be poor again? Do you want me to go back to making tomato soup out of ketchup and water? Or would you like me to be a multimillionaire and be rewarded for all the entertainment I gave you for all those years? But for some reason, as an actor, you’re not allowed to say: ‘I’m fucking rich, bro.’”
–a most humble Steve Guttenberg
December 16th, 2005 at 7:02 pm
Have you ever read Guttenberg’s IMDB bio? It’s amazing. We pulled it up the other night after seeing twenty seven commercials for his horrific looking tv movie with Crystal Bernard (ouch, what happened? WINGS money run out?) called MEET THE SANTAS or some fucking shit. Did you know he turned down the roles of Peter Venkman in GHOSTBUSTERS and the Tom Hanks role in BIG? How bad do each of those movies blow if SG’s the star?
December 16th, 2005 at 9:49 pm
Now that you mention it, yes, I have, but now I just had to again. It sounds like he wrote it himself, what with lines like…
“Although Steve Guttenberg is firmly established as the star not only of hit motion pictures, but of hit motion picture franchises, his roots are firmly in the theatre. As result, he has moved effortlessly between comedy and drama.”
“The comic timing and charm with which he illuminated those films and the dramatic invention which he displayed in such other major successes…”
“Part of his unique ability to Pied Piper children to better lives comes from the fact that he is as affectionately regarded by young audiences as by adults.”
He betters children’s lives? If by that he means no longer making POLICE ACADEMY movies, I’ll grant him that.
December 18th, 2005 at 1:29 am
If you want an awesome piece of Guttenbergabilia, I suggest renting CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC, just for it’s faggariffic opening number where the Goot rollerskates around New York.
December 19th, 2005 at 8:47 pm
Well, I certainly could stop the music. It took me three months to finish that movie.
I just read a script with the Gute as a character. I should have read the imdb profile beforehand, because I thought most of it was made up for comedic effect! I was still under the impression he was a hapless everyman. I had no idea he was really so delusional and “fucking rich, bro”.