http://www.hitchmagazine.com Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:51:35 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Twice a year, you're supposed to spread pre-emergent fertilizer on your lawn to prevent weeds from ever popping up. Someone should have done the same to THE RUINS, a terrible killer-vines horror flick based upon Scott Smith's not-at-all-terrible 2006 book of the same name. Two couples of college kids vacationing in ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/the-ruins/ This week, my wife and I had our 14th wedding anniversary. My wife is awesome. How awesome? She doesn't even expect anniversary presents, which is good, because I have no time to find one. But we did mark the occasion by taking a without-kids trip to Fort Worth, Texas. Why ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/articles/hitch-goes-to-fort-worth/ Recently we saw the release of the latest Stephen King cinematic adaptation, THE MIST. It is trashy King done by a classy director and I loved every minute of it. It straddles the line between “good” Stephen King film and “bad” Stephen King film. You know what a “good” Stephen King ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/the-5-best-worst-stephen-king-movies/ Last week, my wife, kids and I packed up the Toyota Sienna and made our big summer vacation to Branson, Mo., despite the prevelance of $4-a-gallon gas. "But wait, Rod," I'm sure many of you are asking yourself, "don't you hate country music? Why would you go to Branson?" Yes, I ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/articles/hitch-goes-to-branson/ It's hard to remember a time when Steven Seagal was actually cool. It was 1988, when nobody knew who he was, yet here he was, headlining a pretty good B-actioner called ABOVE THE LAW. It heralded the dawn of a new (stoic) action star, whose career would be packed with ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/whatnot/seagalogy-a-study-of-the-ass-kicking-films-of-steven-seagal/ In 1985, when I was a 14, all I wanted for Christmas was Stephen King's SKELETON CREW, then fresh in hardback. I got it, and the cold winter nights were perfect for reading "The Mist," the eerie first of 22 stories in the collection. But really, what were the Weinstein brothers ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/the-mist/ It's not for nothing Richard Matheson's 1954 novel I AM LEGEND has now made it to the big screen three times: 1964's THE LAST MAN ON EARTH, starring Vincent Price; 1971's THE OMEGA MAN, starring Charlton Heston; and now last year's I AM LEGEND, starring Will Smith. The only one ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/i-am-legend/ Who knew the works of H.P. Lovecraft would one day be so ripe for plundering by DIY filmmakers? Lurker Films has made a cottage industry out of primarily releasing compilations of these features and shorts onto DVD, and the fifth now is available in THE H.P. LOVECRAFT COLLECTION: VOLUME 5 ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/the-hp-lovecraft-collection-volume-5-strange-aeons-the-thing-on-the-doorstep/ Throughout high school and some of college, I worked for a public library. While the hours were flexible and the rules lax (sleeping downstairs was a personal work habit of mine), it was during this time that I came to learn just what a travesty of public funding libraries really ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/articles/the-5-people-who-make-me-hate-the-public-library/ Few things are as peaceful or enjoyable to me as just hanging out at the bookstore for a while. Unless you're there. And by "you," I mean one of the nine groups of people on this list, increasingly driving me toward Amazon. You are, in no particular order of annoyance ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/articles/the-9-most-annoying-people-i-always-see-at-the-bookstore/ Here's how little I understood BEOWULF when I had to read it in English class in junior high and again in high school: I thought the title referred to the monster, and that the monster was a wolf. Laugh all you want, but Anglo-Saxon epic poems of the 8th century ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/beowulf-directors-cut/ Sometimes, there's a lot to be said for keeping it simple. As undemanding as Steven Gould's 1992 novel JUMPER is, it's certainly memorable. Picking it up five years after first reading it, details came flooding back with ease. While watching director Doug Liman's big-budget adaptation starring STAR WARS prequel vet Hayden ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/movie-reviews/jumper/ Although I check out the British music magazines every time I go to the bookstore, it's probably been two years since I bought one. In the past, its cover-affixed free CDs were like catnip to me, but as they became less adventurous, so did my willingness to fork over $10. ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/music-reviews/mojo-presents-ok_computer/ LG YC SLC PCH 29Z SARG SLC RF PROV NY S&P CRTNS 5Z PLS FDG BRWNE JD PEP GRVY MIZ PTNT RSTD GARLIC PAR MINI MPL CINN PIT OORCH APL RSP OM LT BF FRNK OORCH CLCM OJ12 SOBE LIFE PSSN ... and one that's not ... GREAT GUACAMOLE http://www.hitchmagazine.com/whatnot/11-cryptic-abbreviations-on-my-grocery-store-receipt/ Yet another retelling of Robert Louis Stevenson's split-personality novella comes to the screen – this time with rockin' tunes – in THE DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE ROCK 'N ROLL MUSICAL. The title says it all. It begins in classic movie-musical style, panning in to Stevenson's quaint countryside home, as he ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/the-dr-jekyll-mr-hyde-rock-n-roll-musical/ As awesome as the four FILM CREW discs are, I got the biggest "original MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000" contact high yet from CINEMATIC TITANIC. After all, it's a project featuring MST's first trio of stars – creator Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu and J. Elvis Weinstein – as well as two ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/cinematic-titanics-the-oozing-skull/ What's in the water o'er at The Horror Channel? Their original programming continues to impress me greatly – first with SHADOW FALLS and now even more so with HEARTLAND HORRORS: SEASON ONE, another online series rounded up in its entirety for DVD. Ten short films await you on HEARTLAND HORRORS, none of ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/heartland-horrors-season-one/ As if the name didn't suggest such, Shadow Falls is a creepy small town. Located somewhere in the Midwest, it apparently died in the mid-'80s after something terrible happened at its local hospital. Now it appears to be all but deserted, but an evil still populates within its borders. Billed ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/shadow-falls-volume-1/ The damned thing is that MASTERS OF HORROR: THE DAMNED THING has the nerve to call itself an adaptation of Ambrose Bierce's classic short story. In that 1894 tale, a group of men in a cabin hear a chilling account of the death of a man by an unseen force ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/dvd-reviews/masters-of-horror-the-damned-thing/ Normally, presskits I receive for new movies are just a boring little book of boring production notes with a CD of stills that's not good for much of anything. Exception: the box just that just arrived for WALK HARD. I shudder to think of the cost-per-piece of this one. Photos ... http://www.hitchmagazine.com/movie-news/best-presskit-ever/